It rarely makes itself known the first time you're together or even the second or third, but instead creeps along until one day, it hits you square in the face. Or worse. It usually starts very subtly over issues of control. Control over what you wear, who you see, who you talk to and if you question it, the ultimate control of making you believe the problem must be you.

• They get jealous easily and want to keep tabs on you all the time
• They try to control everything from what you say to who you see
• They threaten to hurt you or themselves if you say you're going to leave them
• They text and IM you excessively when you don't want them to or they send mean messages
• They get violent when they're angry, punching walls and throwing things
• They switch from charming to rage without warning
• They put you down and criticize you in front of their friends
• They blame you for the things they do and say
• They make you feel scared or threatened
• They make you feel scared or threatened

1. Mood - If your friend's relationship is making them sad, angry, scared or nervous then it's probably not healthy and it's time to talk.
2. Becoming isolated - When people don't feel good about themselves they often stop hanging out with friends or doing things they used to enjoy. Sometimes it's because they're embarrassed by what's happening and want to keep it a secret. Even worse, it's often because their abuser is telling them what they can and can't do.
3. Physical Signs - Look for bruises, physical marks or broken property. Abusers often make their displeasure known by hitting walls or breaking things that are important to their victim like photos or cell phones.

If you've noticed any of the above, encourage your friend to talk with a trusted adult.

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